Updates of kit instructions 
and construction tips

Dr. Zooch Rockets
Russian R-7 Luna

 


Fully assembled R-7 Luna








Close-up of engines



This is a flying model rocket kit of the Russian R-7 Luna vehicle. 
Although it is made and sold in the USA, it's the one for you if you are 
longing for those good old days of the Cold War. Those thrilling days of 
the late 1950s and very early 1960s when the Soviets were able to fly 
space missions, apparently as easily as catching a bus, while the US 
rockets remained rooted to the ground like oak trees... (sort of like the 
last couple of years)... this kit will make you want to wear drab 
itchy woolen clothing, join the army to play hockey, drink vodka and stand in long lines for toilet paper. The kit stands ~ 12 inches tall when 
completed- unless you are looking to use it for propaganda purposes to 
enhance your personal standing in the world view- then you place it close 
to the camera lens while you stand back 300 feet behind it- and it 
appears life size. The kit uses 18 mm B or C s in the business end and 
requires average skill to build- until after you've finished it- then you 
tell everyone that it was the combined skill set that was given to you 
by the socialist party that allowed you to make this glorious creation 
which will now send a probe to the moon. This too will enhance your 
standing in the world view- because most people walking the planet now as just as gullible as the ones who walked the earth during the days of the 
Cold War. So buy it, build it and enhance your stature in world opinion 
It's either that of fade away and become a non-person. Anyhow- buy it 
and remember what the Russians learned that the Americans forgot... when you've got a reliable workhorse booster... stick with it! For those of you who don't understand that- the basic R-7 booster that lofted 
Sputnik, Luna and Vostok- today sends people to the International Space Station aboard the Soyuz, while we in the US can't even build a Saturn IB anymore.














Commonly asked questions:
(Note: These questions were sent to and answered by our interpreter who was formerly with the Soviet government but who is now working as a 
fireworks policy enforcer for an on-line auction service.)

Q: How high will this rocket go?
A: Is big secret- only members of former KGB can know. If you tell you must be sent to camp. Not concentration camp with barbed wire and goon towers- but regular camp- with tether ball, sing-alongs, barbed wire and goon towers.

Q: What scale is it?
A: One cubit equal to 41 meters

Q: Does it come with engines?
A: Is NOT with engines- only fake paper cones to give American CIA something to photograph.

Q: What is the recovery system?
A: Recovery is by big red trash-bag parachute- brings tear to eye remembering old days when lots of rubles were around for space spectaculars.

Q: Can I pay you with a personal check?
A: Can we interest you in employment in a salt mine? NO! No checks- persons sending checks become non-persons and are wiped from memory- in fact I do not even recall reading this question, because there was no question to be reading.


R-7 Luna Kit

 

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2007 Wes Oleszewski. All rights reserved.